I’ve been an entrepreneur for 30 years. In that time I’ve tried every strategy, every system, and every shortcut. And the thing that has moved the needle more than any of them is also the thing nobody puts in a course or calls a business tool.
It’s connection. Being human sometimes-involves-actual-touching connection. In Episode 323 of Gratitude Geek, I sat down with business coach and author LuAnn Buechler to talk about why that’s true, what the science says about it, and what it has to do with your profit.
Human connection is not a soft skill. It is a business strategy. LuAnn and I talked about the science behind hugging, why solopreneurs who try to go it alone are easy to manipulate, what a hug has to do with your profit, and how to build a plan that actually starts with a vision you can get emotional about.
Key Takeaways
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Every time you give a hug, you get one — and the science backs it up. Oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine go up in both people.
- People who try to build a business alone are not just lonely — they’re vulnerable. Community gives you better judgment, faster growth, and someone to call your bluff.
- Saying thank you on purpose is a business move, not just good manners. It shifts energy, builds loyalty, and functions like a verbal hug.
- A vision isn’t a two-sentence mission statement. It’s a story you can feel. Start there, then build your plan backward.
- What you appreciate appreciates. That’s both a grammar lesson and a business strategy.
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The Most Underrated Business Strategy Nobody Talks About
I’m going to make a case for something that sounds ridiculous.
Hugging is a business strategy.
Not metaphorically. Not as some inspirational poster quote. As a real, science-backed, revenue-connected thing.
LuAnn has been studying this for years. She wrote a whole book about it. She walked into political rallies during the 2020 election wearing a “free hugs” sweatshirt trying to bridge a divide that frankly a lot of us felt. And what she found — what the research backs up — is that human touch and genuine connection create chemical shifts in your body that directly affect how you think, how you lead, and how you do business.
When you hug someone, you both get the same hit of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. That’s not woo-woo. That’s chemistry. And when you’re running low on those things — like, say, after two-plus years of a pandemic where touching people wasn’t allowed — it shows up in your business. You feel flat. You feel drained. Leading to not so groovy decisions.
LuAnn says: “Every time you give a hug, you get one.” I know it sounds obvious. But think about how rarely we do it on purpose.
Why Solopreneurs Who Go It Alone Are in Trouble
I’ve been an entrepreneur since I was 18. I went full-time in 1998. And in 30 years of doing this, the single most consistent thing I’ve learned is that you cannot build anything real by yourself.
Not won’t. Can’t.
According to LuAnn’s mentor, if we came with a care label, it would say “store in community.” That line is so good I want to put it on a mug.
Sandra Yancey, who founded eWomen Network, reiterates that no one succeeds alone. No one.
People who try to do it alone aren’t just lonely — they’re easy to manipulate. When you think you’re the only one doing something, it’s really easy for someone to drip ideas into your head that feel like your own. Your judgment gets clouded because you have no one to bounce things off of. You make decisions in a vacuum. And those decisions usually cost you.
When I was just starting out, I had a group of work-at-home moms we called the SuperWAHMz. We were all trying to cover our family’s expenses through our businesses, and without that group, I never would have taken the next step. Then came the next group. And the next. Every level I’ve reached has had a community behind it.
The Thing About BNI That Most People Get Wrong
LuAnn and I have both been in BNI. My friends and I used to joke that we were paying to have friends. LuAnn reframes it as:
“You’re not paying for friends. You’re paying for loyalty.”
Ivan Misner tells this story about two business owners in a small Montana town. They see each other at church. They run into each other at the cafe. And one says to the other — why do we need BNI? If I have a referral for you, I’ll just give it to you. The other one asks, “have you ever done that?”
No. Because life gets in the way. BNI is just a system that reminds you to follow through on the loyalty you already feel. The meeting isn’t the magic. The reminder is.
A Verbal Hug Is Still a Hug
Paige Arnof-Fenn once fired a client because he wouldn’t say thank you to her staff. He wouldn’t do it. Just wouldn’t look her team in the eye and express appreciation for the work they’d done. So she let him go.
That might sound extreme. It’s not. It’s leadership.
When you say thank you to someone and mean it, your body and their body both register it almost the same way a hug does. The endorphin response is similar. The shift in energy is real. LuAnn calls it a verbal hug, and once you start thinking about it that way, you start saying thank you more on purpose.
The flip side is also true. When you can’t receive appreciation — when someone compliments you and you immediately brush it off or discount it — you’re blocking the very thing you’re trying to give. LuAnn’s advice is simple: when someone says something kind to you, stop. Say thank you. And then stop talking. Don’t explain it away. Just let it land.
That’s harder than it sounds. I’m still working on it.
What an “Inspired Strategic Plan” Actually Means
LuAnn uses something called an inspired strategic plan with her coaching clients, and it’s different from the stuffy two-paragraph vision statement most of us were taught to write.
Instead of a few sentences trying to wrap everything up in a bow, you write a story. A full story. What does your life look like 10 years from now when your business and your personal life are both running exactly the way you want? You write it out in detail. And according to LuAnn, clients often come to tears reading it back, because it’s the first time the future has felt real instead of scary.
Once you have the 10-year story, you don’t build a 10-year action plan. You chunk it backward. You ask: what do I just need to do right now to start moving toward that? The first step gets smaller. The next step becomes obvious.
It’s a lot easier to take a step when you know where you’re going.
The Pandemic Lesson We Almost Missed
During COVID, LuAnn made a choice. She was going to look for the silver lining in everything. Not because she was in denial — but because she knew what happens to your body and your business when you stay stuck in fear.
And she saw something she hadn’t seen in years. Parents in their yards, playing with their kids on a Tuesday afternoon. Kids who actually had their parents’ attention. A slowdown that nobody asked for but that a lot of people needed.
She asks a question I think about a lot: why did it take a pandemic to learn that our time at home is valuable?
I’ve seen this play out in real time. Two women I know did the exact same work. Same kind of business. When the pandemic hit, one of them could not make peace with Zoom. It felt too different, too impersonal, and she closed her business. The other one embraced it and expanded. Same disruption. Completely different outcomes.
The difference was not talent. It was mindset.
Meet LuAnn Buechler
LuAnn Buechler spent 15 years in corporate America before going out on her own, and she’s been running her coaching business for 16 years since. She’s the author of iHug: My Journey as a Hugger, the host of the Make Your Passions Pay podcast.
LuAnn walked into a presidential primary rally wearing a “free hugs” sweatshirt because she genuinely believes human connection can close a political divide.
Her work helps people build a business around what they love, with a real community around them to make it work.
“Every time you give a hug, you get one.” — LuAnn Buechler
Connect with LuAnn Buechler
- Website: luannb.com
- Podcast: Make Your Passion Pay
- Book: iHug: My Journey as a Hugger (affiliate link)
Disclaimer: Some links may be affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you choose to purchase. No added cost to you.
Your Turn
What landed hardest for you in this conversation? Are you someone who gives hugs easily, or is human touch something you’ve had to practice? Drop a comment below or find me on Threads or LinkedIn — I’d love to keep this conversation going.
Related Episodes You Might Love
- 141: Ivan Misner on the Future of Modern Networking
- 101: Brian Hilliard on Unlearning Your Way to Success
- 196: Paige Arnof-Fenn on Why She Fired Her $120K Client
- 311: Rachel Spekman on Soul-Aligned Career Change for Gen X Women
- 134: Michelle Hoffman Shares 5 Things Every Solopreneur Needs to Know About Building Client Relationships That Last
Stay Groovy!
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