Do you ever feel like you’re waiting for a permission slip that never arrives? It’s okay to start scared. As solopreneurs, especially those of us in the “sandwich generation” holding the plates for everyone else, we often wait to feel “ready” before we launch that project or raise our prices. We stay in park, waiting for the engine to warm up, while the world moves past us.
In episode 340 of the Gratitude Geek podcast, I sat down for a warm chat with Crystal Bell—a leadership coach and fellow Michigander who has mastered the art of the major “pirouette.” Crystal transformed from a music teacher into a software executive, then a yoga studio owner, and now an executive coach. She’s learned that momentum isn’t a lightning bolt that strikes the lucky; it’s a series of choices we make when we’re still feeling a little shaky.
Through her journey, Crystal discovered that momentum is often counter-intuitive. It’s not about pushing harder; sometimes, it’s about letting go. Here are five surprising lessons from our conversation on how to get your business moving and keep it that way.
Key Takeaways
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why your clenched fist is blocking your growth.
- Confidence is a lagging indicator to start even if you are scared.
- Unspoken expectations are just thoughts.
- You are not an infinite ecosystem.
- The two-step protocol for getting unstuck.
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Why Your Clenched Fist is Blocking Your Growth
We often think that holding on tight to our current results is the only way to stay safe. Crystal uses a beautiful analogy: think of abundance like grains of sand. If your hands are clenched in a defensive, fearful fist, you might keep what you have, but you certainly can’t catch any more.
Beyond just “holding on,” a clenched fist represents tension. In my experience, tension is the ultimate creativity killer. When you move from a scarcity mindset to an appreciation practice, you are performing the mechanical act of opening your hands. By unclenching, you release the stress that blocks your flow and create the space necessary to receive new, expansive opportunities.
As one of my clients put it so succinctly, “When I unclenched, everything fell into place.”
Confidence is a Lagging Indicator (Start Scared)
One of the biggest myths we tell ourselves is that we need confidence before we can start. Crystal’s perspective is a breath of fresh air: readiness and confidence are not prerequisites; they are the rewards of action. You don’t build the muscle of starting by thinking about it; you build it by being “new” at something over and over again.
This was a massive hurdle for Crystal because she is an Enneagram 6. As a “Loyalist,” she is naturally driven by a need for security and safety. For an Enneagram 6 to pivot from a steady corporate paycheck to a career with no insurance and no guaranteed income requires immense courage. That “deer in the headlights” feeling isn’t a sign to stop—it’s just the sensation of a new growth cycle beginning.
“I think that’s one thing that… learning how to start and learning how to create and set roots for yourself has become a really important thing… especially for people who are kind of deer in the headlights, brand new to their career.”
Unspoken Expectations are Just Thoughts
If you want a raise, a dream collaborator, or a boundary respected, you have to verbalize it. Crystal notes that we often carry heavy expectations in our heads, assuming others can read our minds. In reality, if you don’t say it out loud, it’s just a thought taking up rent in your brain.
I saw this principle in action when I wanted Alan Dibb, author of The One-Page Marketing Plan, to be a guest on my show. People asked me how I landed such a major name, and the answer was simple: I asked. Asking is the mechanical act of putting your business car into drive. Without that verbal request, your desire stays in park.
“Expectations that are not said out loud are just thoughts. Period.”
You Are Not an Infinite Ecosystem (The Maintenance Checklist)
As Gen X women, we are professional “plate holders.” We manage the household, the staff, the pantry, and the doctor’s appointments, often treating ourselves as if we have infinite energy. But Crystal reminds us that even the best car won’t run if the battery is dead or the tank is empty.
Think of yourself like a vacuum cleaner. If the bag is full of mental gunk and old, negative thoughts, the machine loses its suction and stops performing. To stay in motion, you have to “empty the bag” and put yourself back on the maintenance checklist. You aren’t being selfish; you’re ensuring the equipment—that’s you—is in working order.
The Solopreneur’s Oil Change:
- Energy: Are you fueling your body or running on fumes and caffeine?
- Mental Health: Have you cleared out the “debris” of old stories that no longer serve you?
- Physical Well-being: Are you allowing your nervous system to regulate through quiet and rest?
The Two-Step Protocol for Getting Unstuck
Losing momentum is a normal, cyclical phase of business, much like the phases of the moon. It isn’t a character flaw or a sign of failure. When you find yourself paralyzed by a growing to-do list, Crystal recommends a practical “dopamine reset” protocol:
- The Permission Slip: Give yourself grace to move slowly or rest without the weight of shame. Agonizing over being stuck only hammers the nails deeper into the floor.
- The Brain Dump: Write every single task and worry down on paper to declutter your internal hard drive.
Once it’s all on paper, isolate the one task you’ve been avoiding for weeks. Don’t try to finish the whole project—just commit to one small, specific step. To ensure it happens, send an email to a friend or an accountability partner promising to get that one thing done. Completing it triggers the dopamine you need to get the ball rolling down the hill again.
Meet Crystal Bell
Crystal Bell is a Michigan-based leadership coach, speaker, and founder of Clarity with Crystal, where she helps female entrepreneurs build momentum through small-group coaching circles called Clarity Collectives. Her own career journey is defined by significant pivots, having transitioned from her original training as a music teacher to becoming a software executive, a yoga studio owner, and an executive coach.
Connect with Crystal
- Website: Clarity-with-Crystal.com
- LinkedIn: @clarity-with-crystal
Also Mentioned
Disclaimer: Some links may be affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you choose to purchase. No added cost to you.
- 250: Allan Dib talks Product Market Fit
- 271: Nikki Smith on Facing Death with Grace
- Creator Collab Mixers for Women
Final Thoughts
Momentum is simply the act of moving in the right direction with purpose. It grows when we are willing to jump off the scarier ledges of our lives. When we choose collaboration over competition, we create a “rising tide” that lifts every ship in our harbor.
Crystal’s entire trajectory changed because of a single moment of gratitude for a teacher named Mary. When Crystal was 300 pounds and convinced she didn’t “look like a yoga teacher,” Mary pulled her aside and told her that her unique perspective and background in education were exactly what would make her great. Mary saw the potential that Crystal was hiding from herself.
Who in your life is waiting for you to see their potential, and more importantly, what potential are you currently hiding from yourself because you don’t feel “ready” yet?
Stay Groovy!
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