I recently revisited a podcast conversation I had with Ilene Marcus where I shared the story about waiting too long to ask for the job I wanted. Ultimately, I got something infinitely better, my husband.
Let me take you back to my early twenties, when as a woman, asking for what you want meant you were too ambitious.
The Dream Role I Couldn’t Stop Thinking About
I was working for an international corporation at the HQ in California. A position opened up at the Canadian headquarters that was perfect for me. Basically, I wanted my boss’s job, but in Canada.
I was so ready for it. I was the top producer in the USA dealer services department. I had the skills, the track record, and the hunger. On paper, it was a no-brainer. This was the promotion that would validate that I belonged at that table, that my ambition was justified.
What I didn’t have was the courage to ask for it. Not yet, anyway.
Two Weeks That Changed Everything
I waited about two to three weeks before I finally mustered up the courage to ask the CEO to recommend me for the job. He pointed at me and said, “that’s a great idea.”
Those two to three weeks weren’t about timing or logistics. They were hesitation born from the reality of being a woman in the 90s, when talented women were often overlooked so we didn’t ask for what we wanted. So, I lost the opportunity before I even asked for it.
The next day, I was in my boss’s office discussing a different matter when the CEO came in and told me the job in Canada had been filled. There you have it, my boss knew I went around her.
The Fallout and the Detour
The dynamic shifted and the trust eroded and within a few months, I knew I couldn’t stay. I left that job and moved to Texas to take another position.
Honestly, I ended up hating that job. But Texas where I met my husband.
I Didn’t Get the Job, But I Got So Much More
After we married, my husband and I started our custom furniture business. I modeled everything I’d learned in corporate America to grow our little mom-and-pop shop into something bigger—distribution in retail stores throughout the USA and international clients as well.
If I had gotten that job in Canada, our paths would never have crossed. That promotion I was so desperate for would have redirected my entire life away from the partnership that became the foundation of everything else.
What This Taught Me
Ask for what you want. You deserve it. Closed doors are sometimes protection. And sometimes life has to reroute us toward the person we want to share it with, and the work that actually fulfills us.
The job I wanted was temporary. The company was temporary. But the person I met because I finally left? The life and business we built together?
That’s everything.
Stay Groovy!
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