How a Sci‑Fi Podcast Keeps Our Marriage Weird After 28 Years

Who We Are: A Gen X Couple Who Work Together

I married Shane when I was 28. This year is our 28th wedding anniversary, which means I’ve officially been married to him for half my life.

We’re not just married. We also build creative projects together. For our 27th anniversary, I shared “27 rules for couples who work together and stay happily married,” based on years of co‑creating as business partners.

Since then, we’ve launched a podcast called Sci‑Fi Book Pod, where we talk about speculative fiction with other groovy nerds and geeks.

On paper, that’s just another content channel. In reality, it’s become a surprisingly powerful tool for staying connected after nearly three decades together.

The Problem: Staying Curious About Each Other After Decades Together

Long‑term couples don’t usually fall apart over one big argument. They slowly drift apart when they stop being curious about each other.

By the time you’ve shared:

• multiple homes
• businesses and creative experiments
• health crises and career pivots
• and thousands of dinners, laundry loads, and grocery trips

it’s very easy to assume you already know everything there is to know about your partner.

How do you keep discovering new things about someone you’ve known for 28 years?

As a Gen X couple who also works together, the risk isn’t romantic boredom. It’s turning into “co‑workers who share a mortgage” instead of partners who are still genuinely fascinated by each other.

The Solution: Co‑Creating a Podcast That Forces Fresh Conversations

Launching Sci‑Fi Book Pod gave us a simple structure that solved that problem in three specific ways:

1. We Chose a Topic That Naturally Sparks Debate

We picked science fiction because it’s a genre designed to ask big questions:

• What does power look like in the future?
• How do societies change?
• What does it mean to be human?

When we recorded a Season 2 sneak peek back in January, we revisited our favorite books from Season 1 and talked about what we’re reading next. One of the most interesting moments was Shane’s reaction to Ada Palmer’s Too Like the Lightning.

It wasn’t his favorite book. He didn’t even really like it. But it was the most memorable.

He said it “broke a lot of things” for him and admitted he listened to it twice just to feel like he understood it. That double‑listen reminds me how Shane is still willing to wrestle with ideas he finds uncomfortable or confusing.

2. We Made Room for Playfulness and Inside Jokes

On the podcast, I demote him from “Space Cadet Shane second class,” to ninth class, and he just leans into it.

It sounds silly, but that ongoing joke:

• Keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously.
• Lets us flirt in a very “we’ve been married forever” sort of way.
• Creates a shared language that belongs just to us (and now to our listeners).

When you’re years into a relationship, playfulness stops happening automatically. The podcast gave us a recurring playground where humor is expected, not an afterthought.

3. We Built a Shared “Next Thing” to Look Forward To

Our Season 2 reading list includes titles like:

• Ender’s Shadow
• The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress
• Agency
• Six of Crows
• Parable of the Sower
• and possibly a dive into The Expanse

From the outside, that’s just a TBR stack. For us, it’s a roadmap of future conversations about world building and character development.

The project guarantees we always have a reason to be weird together.

The Outcome: More Connection, Not Just More Content

What changed after we started the podcast?

• We re‑discovered how each of us thinks. Watching Shane wrestle with Too Like the Lightning reminded me how analytical and stubbornly curious he is — traits I see in our marriage, but in a new light when they show up in his reading life.
• We feel more like partners than just co‑workers. Yes, a podcast is work. There are outlines, recordings, edits, and promotions. But the core of Sci‑Fi Book Pod is us nerding out together. It centers our partnership around curiosity, not just logistics.

Is our marriage perfect? Absolutely not. We’ve had years that felt more like a confusing, overly dense novel than a light, breezy rom‑com. But after 28 years, Sci-Fi Book Pod gives us a structure to keep talking.

Takeaways: What You Can Steal for Your Own Relationship

You don’t need a podcast (or even a sci‑fi obsession) to get the benefit we’ve gotten. If you’re in a long‑term relationship, especially if you also work together, here are the practical lessons from our little case study:

1. Pick a shared topic that naturally leads to big questions. Books, movies, history, politics, faith, gardening, whatever. The content matters less than the quality of conversation it provokes.
2. Create a recurring container for those conversations. It could be a:
   • weekly walk where you talk about what you’re reading or watchingmonthly “nerd date” at a bookstoresimple shared Substack, podcast, or blog
   The key is repetition, not perfection.
3. Make room for a running joke or persona. “Space Cadet Shane ninth class” might not be your flavor, but having a playful alter ego or inside bit keeps you connected when life gets heavy.
4. Always have a shared “next thing.” A reading list, a trip, a home project, a creative experiment. Long‑term connection needs something in the calendar you’re both anticipating, not just reacting to.
5. Treat confusing seasons like complicated books. Sometimes you don’t fully “get” a season of life (or your partner) on the first pass. Be willing to re‑listen, re‑read, and ask more questions.

After 28 years, happily ever after isn’t a snapshot, it’s an ongoing experiment in staying curious together.

If you and your person have your own version of Sci‑Fi Book Pod, a shared project or ritual that keeps you talking, I’d love to hear about it.

Stay Groovy!