I’m writing a book about consistency, so naturally I decided to practice what I’m preaching.
On November 17th, I committed to 90 days of daily blogging. Not weekly. Not “when inspiration strikes.” Every single day through February 17th, 2026.
Day 1, I shared my podcast interview with Miriam Schulman, author of Artpreneur.
Day 2, I published a post about handgrip strength.
It’s Day 3 and I had big plans to start a 7 part series on consistency. Then, I realized I need to prep because later today I’m recording episode 300 of Gratitude Geek, and there is prep work involved!
The smart thing—the thing that honors my energy and capacity—is to take this partially written article about self-care that was sitting in my article drafts and turn it into a proper “5 Lessons” post instead of forcing something entirely new.
Some people would call this “not following through.” I call it practicing what I preach.
Radical self-care means honoring your energy, adapting to reality, and still showing up. The commitment isn’t rigid perfection. The commitment is daily progress, even when it looks different than you planned.
And that’s exactly what my podcast guests have been teaching me for years.
The Experts
Before we dive in, let me introduce you to the five people who shaped my understanding of radical self-care:
Mira Dessy (Episode 254) is a board-certified nutrition educator who is geeky about holistic health and nutrition.
Deb Krier (Episode 281) is a female solopreneur who is navigating running a business while living with cancer.
Kimberly Mitchell (Episode 280) is an Air Force veteran turned transformational leader who helps women achieve joy-driven success.
Kim Beam (Episode 268) is a spiritual joy guide and intuitive healer who helps clients find delight and abundance in their businesses.
Fletcher Ellingson (Episode 275) is an expert in reframing limiting beliefs, helping people rewrite the stories they tell themselves about fear.
1. Gratitude Is Your Nervous System’s Life Vest
Mira Dessy, also known as the “Ingredient Guru”, doesn’t treat gratitude like a cute journaling exercise. She calls it a “life vest” for your nervous system.
This isn’t about warm fuzzies or Instagram-worthy affirmations. Gratitude is what keeps you afloat when the waters get rough—when a client bails, when your body isn’t cooperating, when the bank account is lower than you’d like.
For women solopreneurs over 40 rebuilding after something hard, your nervous system is already working overtime. You’re managing business stress, possibly health challenges, relationship shifts, financial uncertainty. Your body is in a constant state of vigilance.
Gratitude interrupts that cycle. It gives your nervous system permission to stand down, even for a moment.
I’ve used this practice myself during cancer treatment when everything felt overwhelming. Writing down three things I was grateful for—even tiny things like “my coffee was hot” or “I didn’t throw up today”—became the anchor that kept me from drowning in fear.
Your action step: Tonight, before bed, write down three specific things you’re grateful for from today. Not big, profound things. Small, real things. Do this for seven days and notice how your body responds.
2. Whatever You’re Feeling Is Okay to Feel
Deb Krier and I have swapped breast cancer stories more than once. When we talked about running a business while living with cancer, she said something that stopped me cold: “Whatever you’re feeling is okay to feel.”
We’re taught to suppress. To push through. To stay positive. To not burden others with our fear or anger or grief.
But suppressing emotions isn’t strength. Processing them is.
Deb reminded me that radical self-care means creating space for the full spectrum of human emotion—not just the pretty, polished ones we’re comfortable sharing on LinkedIn.
When you’re rebuilding your business after divorce, loss, or illness, you’re going to feel scared. Angry. Exhausted. Resentful. Hopeful one day and defeated the next.
All of it is valid. All of it deserves space.
The goal isn’t to “think positive” your way out of hard emotions. The goal is to feel them, honor them, and move through them instead of staying stuck in them.
Your action step: The next time a difficult emotion shows up, don’t push it away. Name it. Say it out loud: “I’m feeling angry right now” or “I’m scared about money.” Then ask: “What does this emotion need from me?” Sometimes just acknowledging it is enough.
3. Joy Isn’t Indulgent—It’s a Business Strategy
Kimberly Mitchell, an Air Force veteran turned transformational leader, built a six-figure business by prioritizing joy over hustle.
Not because joy feels nice (though it does). Because joy is fuel.
When you’re building or rebuilding a business, there’s this pervasive belief that success requires suffering. That if you’re not grinding 24/7, you’re not serious. That rest is for people who’ve “made it.”
Kimberly flips that narrative entirely. She teaches that operating from joy—doing work you love, with people you enjoy, in ways that energize you—is what creates sustainable success.
I learned this the hard way. For years, I thought powering through exhaustion was the price of entrepreneurship. Then cancer forced me to slow down. I couldn’t hustle. I could barely function some days.
And you know what? My business didn’t collapse. It adapted. I started saying no to draining clients. I focused only on work that brought me joy. I stopped forcing strategies that felt like obligation.
My revenue didn’t tank. My relationships got stronger. My energy became a renewable resource instead of something I depleted daily.
Joy isn’t a reward you earn after success. It’s the foundation that makes success possible.
Your action step: Look at your calendar for the next week. Circle one task that drains you. Now ask: can I delegate this, automate it, or just stop doing it? Free up that space for something that actually brings you energy.
4. Acknowledge Authentic Emotions as Much as You Cultivate Gratitude
Kim Beam, a spiritual joy guide and intuitive, taught me that gratitude without emotional honesty is just toxic positivity in disguise.
Yes, practice gratitude. But also practice truth.
Real resilience isn’t pretending everything is fine. It’s being honest about what’s hard while still choosing to notice what’s good.
This showed up for me when I was trying to stay “grateful” during cancer treatment while also being terrified and exhausted. I’d write in my gratitude journal, but it felt hollow because I was bypassing all the harder emotions.
Kim’s work reminded me that I could be both grateful for my support system AND angry that I got cancer in the first place. Both things could be true.
Radical self-care means making room for complexity. You don’t have to choose between gratitude and grief. You get to hold both.
Your action step: Next time you practice gratitude, also practice honesty. Write: “I’m grateful for…” and then write: “I’m also struggling with…” Hold both truths without needing to resolve the tension.
5. Self-Care Is the Practice of Feeling Good
Fletcher Ellingson, a fear expert and self-talk coach, defines self-care simply: “the practice of feeling good.”
Not forcing positivity. Not bypassing pain. But intentionally creating conditions where feeling good becomes more accessible.
His work focuses on rewiring the way we think about fear. Instead of seeing fear as something to conquer or eliminate, he teaches clients to rewrite the story fear tells.
For solopreneurs, this is crucial. Fear shows up constantly: fear of failure, fear of not being enough, fear of running out of money, fear of judgment.
Fletcher’s approach is to acknowledge the fear, observe it without judgment, and then intentionally access emotions that feel better—not by denying reality, but by choosing where to place your focus.
I use this practice when I’m spiraling about business finances or health scans. I don’t pretend the fear isn’t there. I notice it: “My brain is telling me I’m not safe.” Then I intentionally shift: “What would feeling safe feel like right now?” Sometimes it’s as simple as making tea. Sometimes it’s calling a friend. Sometimes it’s just breathing.
The practice isn’t about eliminating fear. It’s about not letting fear drive the car.
Your action step: Next time fear or anxiety shows up, try this: Say out loud, “My brain is trying to protect me by making me feel [fear/anxiety/worry].” Then ask: “What would help me feel even 10% better right now?” Do that thing.
Why Radical Self-Care Actually Works
Here’s what I know after 300 podcast episodes, surviving metastatic breast cancer, and coaching dozens of women solopreneurs through their own hard things.
Self-care isn’t bubble baths and face masks. It’s building a life and business that doesn’t require you to constantly override your body’s signals.
It’s choosing gratitude without bypassing grief. It’s letting yourself feel what you feel without judgment. It’s prioritizing joy because joy is strategic. It’s being honest about what’s hard while still choosing hope. It’s learning to feel good on purpose.
For women over 40 rebuilding after cancer, divorce, loss, or any major life disruption, radical self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s survival gear.
You’re three days into my 90-day challenge with me. I’m already adapting because I practice what I preach. The commitment isn’t perfection. The commitment is showing up, even when it looks different than planned.
So here’s my question for you: What’s one radical self-care practice you’ve been avoiding because it feels too indulgent, too slow, or too “woo”? What would happen if you tried it anyway?
Drop a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear what you’re working on.
Want to hear the full conversations?
- Episode 254: Mira Dessy on Holistic Nutrition, Mindful Eating, and Balanced Wellness
- Episode 281: Deb Krier on Business After Breast Cancer
- Episode 280: Kimberly Mitchell on Joy-Driven Success
- Episode 268: Kim Beam on Building a Feel-Good Business
- Episode 275: Fletcher Ellingson on Rewriting Fear and Building Emotional Resilience
Stay Groovy!
Heads up: Some of the links here are affiliate links, which means I may earn a commission if you choose to buy. No extra cost to you.
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