134: Michelle Hoffman Shares 5 Things Every Solopreneur Needs to Know About Building Client Relationships That Last

Every Client Relationship Follows the Same Three-Phase Cycle

Michelle’s framework — which she calls the art of relationshiping — is built on one core observation. Every relationship, whether it’s with a client, a partner, or a community, moves through three phases: chemistry → casual → committed. The chemistry phase is that exciting early energy when a new client says yes and everything feels possible. The casual phase is where reality sets in and misalignments surface. Michelle is clear that this isn’t a warning sign, it’s actually where the relationship gets built. When you work through the friction in the casual phase and reach commitment, something remarkable happens. You cycle back into chemistry at a deeper level, and that’s how client loyalty compounds over time.

Knowing the Difference Between a Taker and a Receiver Changes Everything

Michelle draws a sharp line between takers (closed, extractive) and receivers (open, appreciative) — and both can look the same on the surface. Receivers give givers a purpose; they show gratitude and make the exchange feel mutual. Takers drain the well, often without noticing. The uncomfortable truth Michelle dropped: “You trained the taker to take from you.” By never naming what you need or setting a clear expectation, you taught them that the dynamic was okay. This can be fixed. The reset starts with a direct, blame-free conversation.

Gratitude Grows in a Forward Motion

This is the line I’ll be thinking about for a long time: “The river cannot thank the creek. It just flows to the ocean.” Michelle shared her own story of ten years as a Girl Scout leader — doing all the behind-the-scenes work, building the programs, training other troops — and never once receiving the Leader of the Year award. She was deflated for thirty seconds, then moved on. The work flowed forward anyway, building skills she didn’t know she was building, creating ripples she’ll never fully see. If you’re doing the work in your business and wondering why it isn’t paying off yet, this one is worth sitting with.

Your Business Pivots Are Building Blocks, Not Detours

Michelle went from widowguide.com → leadership author → The Art of Relationshiping, and each pivot looked like a new direction but was actually one continuous thread. She couldn’t have built her current coaching practice without every iteration before it — the widow work gave her the emotional framework, the executive work gave her the leadership lens, and the relationship work is where it all landed. For solopreneurs who’ve rebuilt after cancer, divorce, loss, or burnout, this lands especially hard: the version of your business you’re running right now isn’t a consolation prize for the one you had to let go. It’s being shaped by everything you’ve already lived through.

Your Core Values Are the Foundation for Every Relationship — Including Your Client Relationships

Michelle starts every coaching engagement here, and it’s not a soft exercise — it’s strategic. You cannot build authentic relationships with clients, collaborators, or anyone else without knowing what you actually stand for. She shared the story of a client who kept seeking approval from her father and couldn’t get it; when they dug in, they discovered her core values actually came from him — but she’d internalized her own version, while he lived a different one entirely. Once she understood both clearly, she stopped needing his approval and found genuine connection instead. For your business, when something feels off — a client dynamic that drains you, a service you dread delivering — the values misalignment is usually where the friction lives.

About Michelle Hoffman

Michelle Hoffman is a two-time international bestselling author, speaker, and relationship coach. She’s the creator of The Art of Relationshiping, a framework for helping people attract, keep, and enjoy the right relationships — in business and in life. Her path to this work began with personal loss: widowed in 2016, she rebuilt her own life and then began helping others do the same, first through her book Life Worth Living, then through leadership coaching, and now through relationship coaching for people who are ready to go from lonely to loved. She’s currently writing her third book, Find Love Now, and she brings a rare combination of emotional depth and executive-level practicality to everything she teaches.

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