Your credit card statement might still be glaring at you from across the room, whispering about all the things you “should” be buying. And somewhere between the relentless holiday ads and the pressure to prove your love with perfectly wrapped objects, you realize you’re exhausted by the whole idea.
I get it. I’m tired too.
After battling cancer, rebuilding my business, and hosting more than 300 podcast conversations, I’ve learned the gifts that truly matter aren’t the ones you can order with same-day shipping.
They’re the ones that ask for presence, attention, and intention.
These five lessons come straight from those conversations. From comedians to sales trainers to Super Moms, these guests taught me that the most valuable things we can give each other rarely come from our wallets.
Here’s what they taught me.
The Experts
Before we dive in, meet the five people who helped shape this perspective. They come from wildly different backgrounds, but they all pointed to the same truth: generosity is a practice, not a purchase.
Michelle Slaney-Trovato (Ep. 158) — Super Mom, Legacy Maker, and host of Living Your Legacy. She advocates for parents of disabled children and builds community through intentional connection.
Larry Wilson (Ep. 186) — Emmy-nominated comedy magician and creator of the Wilson Method, bringing a refreshingly human approach to communication.
Curt Tueffert (Ep. 201) — Sales trainer and VP of Sales Development at DXP, who champions the Platinum Rule and the art of remembering what matters to people.
Steve Buzogany (Ep. 161) — Entrepreneur and founder of The Appreciation Advocate, teaching how sincere appreciation drives real referrals.
Phebe Trotman (Ep. 195) — Vancouver-based entrepreneur, accomplished soccer player, and author of The Never Quit on a Bad Day series.
1. The Gift of Showing Up
When Michelle Slaney-Trovato moved into a new home, she did something most of us think about but never follow through on: she baked treats, walked door to door, and introduced herself to her neighbors.
This wasn’t about cookies.
It was about creating safety and connection in a brand-new place.
“Most people think about being neighborly,” she told me, “but very few actually do it.”
I think of her every time I hesitate to send a message or show up at an event. The gift isn’t the thing you bring. The gift is that you came at all.
Tonight, reach out to one person you’ve been thinking about.
Not with a gift.
Just with: “I was thinking about you. How are you really doing?”
2. The Gift of Really Listening
Larry Wilson built an entire career on a deceptively simple skill: active listening.
He reminds us that the path to lasting connection isn’t paved with clever lines or perfect pitches. It’s built by making someone feel genuinely heard. Not waiting for your turn to talk. Not mentally preparing your response. Actually listening.
I’ll admit I’m not naturally good at this. My mind races ahead. But when I manage to slow down and fully hear someone, those are the conversations people remember.
This week, have one interaction where your only job is to listen.
No advice.
No comparison.
Just listening.
3. The Gift of Remembering
Curt Tueffert teaches that “the fortune’s in the follow-up,” but his version of follow-up is deeper than a scheduled reminder.
He remembers people’s wins, their worries, the things they mentioned in passing and promptly forgot they said. His outreach is never generic. It’s specific, authentic, and about the other person.
When I was in cancer treatment, the people who remembered the little things — my chemo schedule, what foods I could tolerate, the day my port came out — those are the people I still carry with me.
Remembering is an act of love that costs nothing.
Start a simple note in your phone.
When someone tells you something that matters, jot it down.
Then use it when you reach out.
4. The Gift of Paying Attention All Year
Steve Buzogany calls this “collecting juice” — the details people share about their lives that most of us forget five minutes later.
But paying attention isn’t a tactic. It’s not data collection. It’s care.
Since interviewing Steve, I’ve made it a practice to circle back. When a client mentions her daughter’s tournament, I ask about it next time. When a friend posts about a book, I remember to ask whether she finished it.
These tiny acts of noticing make people feel valued in ways no purchased gift can.
For the next week, notice one specific thing about each person you interact with.
Their excitement. Their worry. Or their goal.
Bring it up again later.
5. The Gift of Your Time
Phebe Trotman believes one of the most powerful marketing activities is to “pour into someone” with small personal touches like a quick video or voice message.
But at its core, this isn’t about marketing.
It’s about giving someone your presence.
A 30-second video saying, “Saw this and thought of you.”
A voice note instead of a text.
Five minutes of actual human attention.
When I was going through chemo, the gifts I remember aren’t the flowers or casseroles — though I appreciated them. It’s the friend who sent me funny videos when I was too sick to reply. The colleague who left rambling voice notes so I’d have something to listen to on treatment days.
Time is the one thing we can’t manufacture more of.
Giving it freely is a radical act of generosity.
Today, send someone a personal message.
No agenda.
Just: “I appreciate you, and here’s why.”
What Really Matters
After more than a decade of rebuilding my life and business — and talking with hundreds of people who’ve survived hard things — one truth keeps rising to the surface:
- We’ve confused gift-giving with stuff-buying.
- We’ve turned appreciation into a transaction.
And somewhere in the rush, we forgot that the most valuable currency we have is our attention.
You don’t need more money to give more meaningfully.
You need to slow down enough to notice what matters.
Pick one of these five gifts and give it this week.
Then tell me which one you chose. I genuinely want to know.
Stay Groovy!
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